Where I End and You Begin
A fun little poem i found in my archives:
From three hundred miles high I sing
Let my words be heard on a leaking thing
Let my lungs fill songs and overwritten
Let the many hearts be oversmitten
I know it’s crazy and tart and blue
I know that these things have been chasing you
But it’s yesterdays greatest lament to try
Where songs drop from my line I fly
Here's another poem I thought should be up here. It's about America's hunt for Saddam's sons after the war in Iraq, and the church's nearly unquestioning support of the man hunt. I realize it's a bold statement to suggest that they deserve grace but I really see it as unfair to call myself a Christian while demanding their death. Enjoy:
Who Will Mourn
“Kill the Fuckers!” we all yell
“Send them where they belong, to hell!”
Forgetting all we’ve done nothing to become
Forgetting we deserve their bloody fate
Forgetting three nails, a cross, a crown
And the awakening three days late
It’s empowering to hate them
It does the body good
“I’m only looking out for the best”
Doesn’t change it but you think it should
We can’t afford to be God on this one
When they actually got what they deserved
We’re coloring outside the lines of grace
Spitting in the face of the loving Word
So invade my heart with force
Oh warrior, superbly divine
Shoot me up and gut me out
Make a fool’s name out of mine
Be the things I can’t be
And warn this world that will not mourn
They may not listen to my small voice
But who can say no to your sword
A small intriguing poem I found tonight in my archives:
From three hundred miles high I sing
Let my words be heard on a leaking thing
Let my lungs fill songs and overwritten
Let the many hearts be oversmitten
I know it’s crazy and tart and blue
I know that these things have been chasing you
But it’s yesterdays greatest lament to try
Where songs drop from my line I fly
A question to ponder: Why does so much of church have so little to do with God? It frusterates me. That's really what my mind is thinking tonight and what can I do about it? So off I go to ponder.
Well, it's been a little over a week since Jen and I have broken up and I think finally life is starting to move on. So far it has really occupied my mind more than anything. That's not good with projects and work and what not but this is important to me. She was three years of my life and I'm not at all interested in just dropping her by the side of the road to just find her own way. If I can help her out in anyway I will. So that's that now.
I've really been into this band called Fiction Plane lately. The Frontman is Sting's son. It's pretty cool. If sting sang lead for U2 that'd be it. A really cynical band lyrically and what not.
Well, I'm off to work.
This weekend was so much work. It was great to have Jen around though. This week and as of late I can't feel God at all. It sucks. I led some worship this weekend and although everyone else swears it was great, I was very frustrated. I think i know the bone he's picking though. I'm scared to death of seriously asking him if Jen and are to be together. I feel like I'd be letting so many people down if we broke up. Like my hands are tied and I can't make a decision for all of the right reasons. It's all so frustrating. So I'm going to stop typing and go to bed.
This weekend is pretty crazy so far. And in my own depressive way I was moping around last night when God said, "Shut up! I do and am caring for you." I had setup the pep rally outside in the cold and my help to tear it down couldn't make it so it was all me. My fingers were getting numb and I just wanted to get out of there. Finally I decided that changing my veiw of the situation would be better. I started singing something (probably David Gray. Listening to lots of him lately). I talked to God. Just about that time is when the answer came. The guy came to pick up the light rig. He wasn't supposed til come til the next day and I was going to have to collapse the whole light tree on my own. But like the answer I had been doubting he showed up with a smile on his face and eager to help. Sure, the light guy just happened to show up then. But I do actually believe it was some bit of providence in the situation. Just like the ocean just happened to part when Moses was standing there with the horses of Egypt on his back. So it was cool. today has been a lot of work as well. Oh well. Jen will be here soon. it'll be great to see her.
Welcome to anyone who has found their way here (probably just me). This space will just be a place for my thoughts and if you like you can now know those thoughts as well.
Well, today is the first day of this blog. It was a mixed day. Craig came up to visit. I showed him around campus because he's never been up here with me. He really enjoyed the coffeehouse. He's quite the coffeehouse type of guy. A conisuerr if you will. It was so nice to talk. I feel like he's about the only person who understands what I actually think in this world besides my girlfriend and friends in other countries (josh). Then he left and life was normal again. I waited all evening for Jen to get back to the room and when she did she had to leave again. Oh well. This will happen. It's just really frusterating when you loose contact with the person you care about most. That's not much of a relationship. But, no worries, I'm sure we'll get through this. I know that better things are on the horizon or whatever all that crap is that we're supposed to believe. So I'm going to go talk to God and go to bed as I have an early comp lesson tomorrow.
Let this space be filled with my thoughts, anecdotes, amusements, cognitions, introspection, musings, ruminations, poetry, stories, rambling, concerns, personal chronincles, and my feeble attempts at insight.
