So, everything has a balance to it naturally in life even when one may not want it. After my high yesterday of good feelings, I decided today to research the crisis in Darfur all day long. If anyone doesn't know what's going on the greatest humanitarian crisi ever is taking place in Darfur, the western region of Sudan. In 2003 several rebel groups started fighting back against the Sudanese government claiming marginalization and unjust treatment over land and resources. Since then, the Sudanese government has raised its own Arab guerilla army called the Janjaweed, translated as guns on horseback. This malitia has not only fought against the rebel uprising, it has used the opportunity to carry out systematic destruction and relocation of non-Arab ethnicities througout Darfur. The crimes against the civilians are as ugly as one could imagine including, random executions, torture, raiding and looting of towns through ground malitia and bombing air attacks, raping women and girls, forced relocation of peoples, and the prevention of international aid efforts. I spent the day reading about how the UN has tried to enter the country and provide relief to the now 1.6 million internally displaced people, but they couldn't due to a lack of cooperation by the Sudanese government.

October 22, 2004 - "... the number of conflict-affected persons requiring aid in Darfur rose to 2 million, or a third of the population, including both 1.6 internally displaced people (IDPs) and 400,000 affected people in place, from a total for both groups of 1.8 million in August, Jan Egeland said. The number excluded the 200,000 refugees who fled to neighbouring Chad (http://www.un.org/apps/news/storyAr.asp?NewsID=12314&Cr=sudan&Cr1=&Kw1=number&Kw2=idp&Kw3=sudan).

An estimated 70,000 people are known dead, more than 1.5 million are homeless and at least 2.2 million people are affected by the humanitarian emergency in Darfur, Sudan. The situation is becoming even more grave as the rainy season takes its toll: The World Health Organization estimates that as many as 10,000 people may be dying each month. Malnutrition, malaria and cholera are among the greatest health risks (http://www.catholicrelief.org/our_work/where_we_work/overseas/Africa/sudan/dafur_crisis.cfm).

It should be noted that most of these statistics are admitedly inadequate due to the UN's inability to safely enter the region. I felt completely helpless in the face of this.

Then I went to church and was just sickened as we all sang and asked God to treat us like a father and prayed for his love. A few other things really upset me too but I won't go into them. The only thing I need to say is that I was disgusted by our spiritual, as well as many other kinds of, selfishness. I'm reminded of some thing Jordan always asked, I believe from the words of Augustine, "What do I love when I love my God?" The answer is others. This wasn't meant to be a spiritual entry, so what can we do? How can we love others in this situation?

There are a few courses of action.
A) Visit Amnesty International's Activism website on this issue at http://web.amnesty.org/pages/sdn-toolkit-eng
B) If you are a fellow student of mine come to SAGA meetings next semester. I'm going to make it a point to address this. This is really what we're all about.
C) Talk to other people about this. I know that most people probably don't know much about it or just hear little snippets on the news.  ¶ 1:03 AM 0 comments

  Did you ever have one of those nights where everything is beautiful. But not just bubblegum happy. Happy like mewithoutyouhappy or Damien Rice happy. Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind happy. Everything will be ok. And by that I mean things will happen, we will all make the best of them, then something will make us smile. I like to think that the sucky things can make us smile. The cats are running around the kitchen. I saw a movie tonight with my friends and family. My grandparents love me. I had a heart to heart with an ex-girlfriend last night. Life is happening. I'm a happy guy. That's all. Nights like this ask for song writing but I'm just afraid that, as it has been for a long time now, I'll sit down to write and nothing will come out. That's so frustrating, especially when listening to Death Cab for Cutie.

I love my parents. I want the best for them. I can feel the love at home right now. Everybody Loves Raymond, The Ref, and Meet the Fockers are halarious right now because I can't relate at all. People's families are like that? Crazy. I love my family very much and I enjoy the smiles I can give them here and there. Music is a wonderful gift. I remember how happy they were after my recitals this year. Dancing. Smiling. Jokes. I roll my eyes. This is life. It's happening. I'm happy. I'm alive. Shouldn't they be the same thing? This shows you the mood I'm in, no?

I dread tomorrow morning. I'm sure it'll be fine. Everything's always fine. It happens. I just question my choices tomorrow. Should I say anything. Does the prisoner scream or just wait til his day of escape? When something's wrong and I can't change it do I just let it be? Or can I change it? I feel like I still have the trust to sneak in behind the lines and save my friends. Truth, or non-truth is still possible here. Well, I wouldn't want to make this decision prematurely. Should be fun.

I'm alive!

Kate, I love you. Thanks for the Merry Christmas. And yes, Owen, Jeff Buckley. Good stuff, no? Friends soon we'll be together and fun will be had. Peace will be restored. Good luck across the country my friends. Cheers!  ¶ 10:33 PM 1 comments

  Well friends, tonight I witnessed one of the most unique things in my life. My father and I went into downtown York into a factory, York Wire Company. They have a steam whistle that they use to signal the end of shifts and what not in the factory. Well, the whistle has variable pitch so every Christmas Eve at midnight this guy, Mr. Ryan, plays christmas carols on the steam whistle and it can be heard all throughout York. Absolutely amazing. There was a huge boiler in one room and a little hallway connecting the room we stood in and watched. In the hallway Mr. Ryan and two assistants played the whistle, which consisted of yanking a lever to the left and the right along a piece of metal on which notes were crudely marked. All the while steam and water was dripping down on them. His one assisted pulled the handle to start the note. Once a song started though the tone was continuous and didn't cut off until the end of the song. It sounded a lot like theramin (for those of you who know what that sounds like). A 600 pound steam spewing theramin that is screaming along at 134 dB. The other assistant pointed to the notes on the actual piece of music so Mr. Ryan could keep his place. I got some great pictures of the whole event. It's quite an endeavor. People lined the streets and the railroad tracks behind the plant. Many were even tailgating. So thanks to my dad for dragging me down there. I'll never forget that.  ¶ 1:17 AM 1 comments

  So. Tonight was a great night. Saner's here! He's like a brother it seems. We had fun driving around all day Christmas shopping and then tonight we went to Stief's and played like 3 hours of FIFA straight and ate tons of snack food. I'm the least healthy vegetarian ever (except Sara). Tomorrow I don't know what we're doing but he's leaving in the afternoon. And I get to visit Sara up in Lancaster. Should be good times. All of break has been good times. It's so nice to not have shit to do. Just relaxing. Ah. Here try it with me. Ah.

so . . . .

You know what I'm really tired of? (little to no transition there eh?) People thinking of God as a person. Like he's some grey bearded old man sitting on his throne up there in heaven. That's such an archaic view. No doubt, the bible does often portray God as a father or lover or bride. But I think there's so much more in there. Deeper analogies. When really God is limitless. But we like to think of God as a person because we think we can understand people. So if we can understand people and God's like a person, then we can understand God. And when we can understand God, we can tell everyone else how their wrong, because we know God! People are really scared of a God they can't understand and they say, isn't God supposed to be loving and simple? Well, there's the big paradox! God is extremely infinite, beyond all knowledge and comprehension, our putting the very thought of Him (ha ha. I say him as if God were a man) into understandable words is really an insult to the vast expanse of who God is and yet, just breathe and you can totally understand how God works by breathing deeply and being. It's not tough. That's the paradox. Go love someone and you will have mastered this God, or better put, you will have been the love that is God. So it's deep but we talk about God and his will, and his words, and his thoughts as if he were just a person. I think it's time to approach this all with a little more honetsy about our naivity. That would help us all out a little I think. The greatest paradox was when God became human. The marriage of two seeming extremes. Really, we should live that paradox everyday, we humans, living as that God everyday. So the paradox is a paradox in itself; seemingly a vast paradox and yet our everyday responsibility.  ¶ 11:53 PM 0 comments

  So the semester's over. I'm home. Feels good. I just turned in a half-assed composition piece. Senioritus is hitting pretty hard. This house is freezing. I moved across the street. I'm gonna miss Sara. The movie Hero is awesome. Radiohead is awesome. My family and friends are awesome. Now to the real issue at hand: arranging how to dissapear completely for big band.  ¶ 1:26 AM 0 comments

  From Aaron's Tour diary on mewithoutyou's sight:
11.22.04
back on the road, somewhere in the midwest right now, grateful to be travelling but missing home already. Bush won of course, and as for my last entry, people have asked why I'd say a thing like I said, and tho I don't want to get too much into political stuff again, I'll mention only a few things:

after the defeat of baghdad, he quoted old testament prophesy ("the people walking in the darkness have seen a great light..." -Isaiah 9:2) to refer to america - this prophesy is about the coming of the Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth, not america! this is idolotry, this nationalism that calls our country a light to the world. needless to say, God is not an american (much less a republican).

waging war to "rid the world of evildoers." to list the "axis of evil" as a list of countries (iran, iraq, syria, north korea) is to deny the evil that exists in every human heart. may God give us the humility to wage war only against our own sin, to remove the plank from our own eye. Jesus never taught us war, but to Love our enemies!

the rich and powerful american brand of Christianity has so departed from Christ that it bears little to no resemblence to his teaching and his life. may God have mercy on us and give us that Holy Spirit that was with Jesus, that sells all, gives to the poor, and follows with nothing but a desire for the kingdom of God. the Spirit that prays for those who attack us, to turn the other cheek, to return a curse with a blessing. may we become the servants of all, working alongside and for the cause of the oppressed and marginalized and unimportant and forgotten and ignored and kicked aside and dirty and sick and ugly and mentally ill and locked up and thrown away. our faith has become a charade, a caricature, and God is not fooled by this. may he have mercy on our dishonest country and world.

please, please, PLEASE

-Aaron Weiss  ¶ 1:21 PM 0 comments